Wednesday, March 7, 2012

My Language

A poem begins with a lump in the throat.  ~Robert Frost

As I continue to try really hard to stay with the things I'm feeling rather than revert to running and diverting, I'm going to just keep channeling and writing ... who knows, maybe I'll create something beautiful out of hurt or pain. What better gift could I give myself? I'm tired of running and trying not to feel stuff I've avoided feeling for months and months, and even further back than that. I realize it's only prolonged the process of moving forward. I can't afford to scrutinize it anymore, judge myself or bury it. I can only observe it and just let it be what it is. So I'm going to own it.

It'll get old, I'm sure ... to some of you ... and may not make sense to others. But I've sacrificed enough of myself for others.

I'm doing this for me. 

My Language

You spoke to me … your ocean eyes
Butterflies
Incessantly flying inside, teasing the edges of my heart
You spoke to me … you knew
I was young -- yes … old, young, barely touched
Never so deep
You spoke to me … your mouth
Unlocking
And I, soaking it up like an arid sponge
Wanting the dream
I still dream
You spoke to me … your breath
Whispering
Secrets buried beneath my skin, aflame
And I, tumbling, falling, terrified, elated …
You spoke to me … your spirit
Placating
Confusion burning at the fridges, choking
So many firsts – pure … tainted, taken, given
But no, I didn’t lose … I feel lost
You spoke to me … your heart
Fluttering
Contrived, feigned, manipulated, real … to me
You did not take, though I feel taken
But no … I gave

And I’ll give again

~C~

2 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed this poem. I was searching creative writers on blogger and happened upon your blog! It's so important to keep poetry alive. I would love to follow your blog if I may! Feel free to folow mine as well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you :-) I very much appreciate the feedback, always. It's a mix, this blog ... some of it straight journal entry, some of it short stories, songs and poems. Where ever it wants to take me, I've been letting it go. I hope you enjoy. And definitely welcome the following ... I will be sure to check yours out as well and add it to my blogs list.

    ReplyDelete