Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

A self-fulfilling prophesy is essentially a belief or prediction that comes true because we are already acting as though it is true. 

So this can obviously go positively or negatively, depending on what the belief is. 

Right now, I want to talk about self-fulfilling fear-based prophesies. I've blogged about fear a long time ago and here and there in other posts.

But it's been awhile since we've talked about it. While I can sit here and say the obvious, "We must face our fears in order to overcome them," I want to actually focus on another aspect of fear that has definitely been a challenge in my life as of late.

Let's operate under the notion that everything we give our focus, energy, thoughts to, we strengthen and attract. So, if our mind is constantly on work-related material, work will consume our lives. If our mind is constantly on social media, we will get lost in the abysmal void that is the internet and so on.

If we focus on love, peace and joy, we will nurture those seeds and they will grow. Conversely, if we focus on our fears, if we continually operate our lives from a place of fear, we will assuredly bring those fears right to our doorstep. 

Imagine fear as a small, fiery ember in a hearth, and our focus and energy is oxygen and gasoline. 

This is the part that is the hardest for me to accept. But I see it happening day in a day out in my own life and in the lives of those I am close to. Operating from a place of "if I do this, then this won't happen, if I do that, then I won't feel this way, if I do this, that person won't get hurt," etc., we will undoubtedly manifest the very thing we are most scared of. If it's losing someone, hurting someone, if it's getting sick, if it's not being in control, if it's offending someone, if it's not being good enough or not feeling worth enough, rest assured, those things will become our reality. We will lose people, hurt people, we will get sick, we will wind up in situations we have absolutely no control over, we will offend people, we will constantly create situations where we feel unworthy.

Whether our fear-based actions drive others away, whether they thwart our own happiness (as I have definitely learned in my life, over and over again for the last decade), whether they appear to be the "safe" route to go but inevitably leave us with a sense of emptiness inside ... whatever the case is, we will continue to draw those very fears into our lives until we not only face them, but counter them with the opposite emotion ... love. Love and faith.

When we act from a place of love and faith, we will find a very different outcome — joy. I can't say that I'm there yet. I'm still working on NOT feeding my fears right now. But I have found that the times I do act from a place of love, when I trust that acting from this place will take me to where I'm meant to be, I do feel peace in that moment and I do end up where I need to be. 

And when I face my fears, and communicate my feelings to those who are important in my life, when I am open and genuine ... those fears dissipate. Because I've countered them with something much more powerful — love. 

So, if your fear is talking to someone, telling them something ... if it's standing up for yourself in a situation, maybe work or with friends, or a partner. If it's making a decision that might not please everyone, but is what makes you happy, what brings warmth to your soul, what helps you grow — for instance, not everyone gets why I'm pursuing therapeutic Yoga training, why I've gone down this path, but as long as I know it gives me joy and love and happiness, I know it's worth pursuing — approach it from a place of love. Be present as you face it. 

This could apply to a path in life, a lifestyle change, the decision to pursue a relationship, a career move, etc. The point is, know yourself, know what moves you, know what brings you joy and love and happiness ... and MOVE from that place, always. When you feel fear creep up and try to control your next step ... or if you're hearing many different opinions (I've definitely been there) and none of them feel quite right ... stop and listen inside. Listen with your heart and soul and you'll know what to do.

Our fears are only as powerful as we make them. WE make them. We are their maker. And to believe they run our lives is a farce. 

Watch what you give your attention to. Observe what you choose to feed in your life and what you choose starve. If you are scared something will happen, if you believe the worst will occur, you will then act from those places ... and sure enough, you will create your own self-fulfilling prophesy.

So, I say this to myself as much as you all ... we must choose wisely. Remember, we're all in this together.


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