Sunday, February 3, 2013

Do You Resist What Is?

There's this common theme I've been noticing, learning about and expressing for some time now, even if it's hard for me to always practice myself.

I think Tolle says it best here:

“To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. Things, people or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them — while they last. All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.”

I still struggle with this one sometimes. Because my attachment to people, relationships, situations is still strong sometimes. But I'm noticing that the more I "let go" and not resist what my life is right at this moment, the more positive things, things I've yearned for are crossing my path.

Think about your life for a minute, the things in it that you "aren't happy with." Now, what makes that judgement? Your brain? Or is it something you "feel" inside. I think sometimes we "think" things are worse than they are or we're supposed to be doing this by now or doing that by now, etc. But are those thoughts REALLY ours? Or are they manifestations of societal norms, outside influences, etc.

I guess my point is, there is a difference between what you're thinking and what you're actually feeling, instinctively, intuitively. When you learn to decipher between them, then you'll have an easier time figuring out what you really need to change for you to feel more in sync with your true self and the universe.

And you'll notice that once you get in sync, good things start to happen and opportunities begin to arise all around you.

That being said, the other part of this is relationships/friendships. I used to think if I was friends with someone, like really good friends at one point in my life or another, we would be friends forever. But that's just not what happens in life. There are people, the soul mate kind, who no matter what happens, you're always connected over the years. And then there are the people who come and go, help us along or teach us a lesson and then move on.

I speak generally here, because this is something that I've come across now in my own life more times than I can count on both my hands, whether its been someone wanting more out of my friendship than I'm giving or wanting the direction of the relationship to go a way that it isn't going. And I've been on the other side of this as well.

It often leads to resentment or projection, anger, passive aggressiveness, manipulation, etc. All "out of sync" things.

Which begs the question, why do we sometimes get so caught up in the label we want our relationship or friendship with someone else to be or the direction we want things to go in that we fail to appreciate what that person or situation is offering us just as we both are in this moment?

Why do we focus more on what isn't happening than what IS happening in our lives? Because our egos are trained to constantly hunger for more, to want more, to be dissatisfied with what's in the here and now. Because that would mean the ego is useless, which would lead to its utter demise.

This can be applied to our jobs or perhaps other unsatisfying situations in our current lives, money problems, legal issues, family drama, etc.

There is nothing wrong with changing things that don't feel "right" in our lives anymore. But I think it's important to examine where those feelings are truly coming from, deciding if they're coming from the heart and soul or coming from the mind and outside influences. The answer to those questions will help in deciding where we step next. Another tool to use is that whole "upstream, downstream" analysis I gave a few blogs ago. If you take a step in one direction and you continue to feel "hungry" or unsatisfied or depressed, anxious, etc. then LISTEN to that feedback and adjust your steps accordingly.

Resistance is a mark of the ego—our false self—not our true being. Our authentic self flows with life, instead of resisting it. ~ David Robert Ord

Remember ... you are your best teacher.




  1. Never thought about their being a difference between what we're thinking and what we're feeling. Whether our "dreads" are real or are manifestations of societal norms,. etc. Interesting...

    1. Yeah ... I've noticed how it literally "feels" different when I'm observing something my mind is judging as "good" or "bad" or "healthy" or "unhealthy," versus what I'm actually feeling inside, intuitively about it. Once you make that distinction, you notice it more and more every day and you eventually weed out the "false" stuff and embrace your truth.