Thursday, January 24, 2013

Why Do We React the Ways We Do?

Fear is anxiety, stress, frustration, anger, pain, depression, irritation, all the negative emotions and feelings you experience.

Everything else ... everything else is love.

Those were the words my teacher said this past weekend that hit me hardest. Think about it. All the negative things we feel, when you go right to the core of every one of them, some kind of fear is at the root. Fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of rejection, fear of not being loved or lovable, fear of people who are confident, fear of people who are somehow "better than you," fear of inadequacy, insecurities, pain, etc.

Why do we snap at people, why when someone compliments someone else we might feel inadequate in comparison to, do we feel the instant need to cut into them, to criticize? All of those things aren't really "us." They are egotistical derivatives of fear. 

So that quintessential question of "What is love?" Well, according to my teacher, it's everything else. It's peace, it's warmth, it's ease, it's gentleness, kindness, compassion, sympathy, generosity, selflessness, altruism ... all of those things encompass love. And when we love ourselves, we don't have room for inadequacy, insecurity, the need to push others down so we can "stay up." Because if you notice, after you do push someone down, whatever "good" feeling you feel, it's never there long and it's often replaced with more self hate or depression.

I can't speak for everyone else, but I think our society in general has twisted and contorted the idea of love to fit each person's mold. And while I do believe everyone experiences it in a different way and experiences different "kinds" of love, I really do see it differently now and look back on some of the distorted views I once had myself.

Yes, I believe you can love someone and still have selfish or angry or jealous moments. But the more you're aware of those emotions as they arise, the more you learn to quickly decipher between what is genuine love and when you're reacting to fear, projecting fear and feeding that pain-fueled egoistic part of you rather than nourishing your heart and spirit ... and truly loving another.

And as soon as you bring awareness to those thoughts/emotions ... they tend to go poof,  like smoke. Imagine them creatures that don't want to be seen ... and once you see them, they lose all their power and disappear. 

Next time you snap at someone or you feel irritation or anger or you want to cut into someone, or a situation, insult someone, criticize, judge, etc. Just be aware of what's going on in you, even while it's happening ... you'll notice how quickly you lose steam. The ego won't like it, that's for sure. But you'll feel a shift more and more in you.

It isn't about judging yourself or scolding yourself, it's about weeding out our "fake," fear induced selves and embracing our "true," loving selves. You can't change these things by changing how you act to others. It has to start with how you treat yourself. That's at the root of everything else.

And once you find love there. You'll discover it everywhere.


1 comment:

  1. This post made me think of something. Why do we let those other emotions overpower love, since love is the most powerful of all emotions? If we spent more time loving, the world would be a much better place :)