Guilty Pleasures

We all have them, to some degree. For me, it's vampire books/shows/movies, fantasy fiction computer games and once in awhile, a cheesy romance novel. I could give reasons behind my attraction to each of these things, but for this morning's entry, I'll focus on my computer game fetish. Awhile back, my dad, who I am very close to, got me into this computer fantasy fiction game called "The Longest Journey." It's one of those games that has a long story plot revolving around a female character who "finds herself" through this journey she takes in a dream world she never knew existed. You have to use your mind a lot, uncover clues, find items to get you to the next chapter, but I fell in love with the storyline as well as the music. There has been a sequel, which I played in college (my boyfriend at that time always knew when the computer was on and that game was on, I was "in the zone"), but they have yet to complete the third game. Well, this morning, a song from the sequel, "Dream Fall," came on my iPod while in shuffle mode. It's called "Hold On," by Magnet.

Last night, anxiety (something I've struggled with for most of my teenage and adult life) took hold of my mind. At one point, I just laid down on my living room floor and looked at my ceiling, letting my eyes focus on the ridges, dips and patterns of the plastered tapestry above me. It gave me some sense of solace, but much of the night, I felt lost. So this morning, when this song came on, I let it speak to me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KMfN0sKcws


These days I don’t see you walk to proud
These days I don’t hear you talk so loud
When you thought you’d soaked up all of the blows
You realized you were not even close
And it feels like it’s tearing you up
Feels like it's wearing you down

You’ll get through this if you hang on
Cause the truth is you’re not alone
You’ll get through this if you hang on
The truth is you’re not alone
You’re not on your own

I see your face on every corner of every street
You spend your days just waiting for your next defeat
But I can only tell you what I know
And all I know is that I just don’t know
And it feels like it’s tearing me up
Feels like it’s wearing me down

I’ll get through this if I hold on
Cause the truth is I’m not alone
I’ll get through this if I hang on
The truth is I’m not alone
I’m not on my own
And you are not alone
It’s just hard sometimes to carry on
No I’m not on my own 
And you are not alone
It’s just hard sometimes, so hard sometimes
But we got to hold on 

~C~