Saturday, December 29, 2012

Light a Candle ... or Curse the Darkness?

Maybe it's this time of year, but for whatever reason, when New Years is near, I always think back on the last 12 months, perhaps even years past. Before, I would dwell on memories, but lately, they seem to brush over me like a cool mist and then swell with warmth from my present heart.

I'm reading a book about the power of emotions, what they tell us, how they can guide us. It also talks about the Laws of Attraction. When I had once felt a lot of pain, I seemed to attract more of it. As my heart has healed and my energy has changed, I've noticed the same pattern, but the opposite. It's not that I'm just attracting "good" things or positive things (though that's part of it), but more like negative things either seem to bounce off more easily or negate me altogether.

If they do penetrate, they don't linger as long as they used to. It's made me view my life and the world in the same way, as energy — positive and negative. And as energetic beings, we have the power to create both and the choice to produce more of one than the other.

As I'd mentioned in my earlier posts, this time of year, and winter in general, has always been a rough ride for me. The holidays aside, it's a mixture of lack of sun, the constant cold, the feeling of solidarity on those cold walks to the car from work ... on those dark drives home, the seasonal depression. But I've also learned of the many things that bring me comfort and am venturing to focus more on them, because what I focus on is where my energy goes. And where my energy goes and how it manifests itself reflects right back.

I feel so much sometimes, it's hard to breathe. It's as though I experience every single emotion at once. And what's more, I always desire to share all of it the moment it happens, but oftentimes it passes right by like an intense whisper against my ear, shooting through my heart.

I hope to learn more as I read more about emotions and what they tell us, so that I can share it. But what I do is know, when people say "think positive" ... well, it's not just some cliche phrase of wisdom. I'm noticing its power more and more. It fights the hardships ... the heartache in life, the voids, the sadness. It breaks through it like sun rays through dark, swollen clouds.

It feels something like this ...

She stands beneath the harrowing clouds, murky wisps across the sky
Veiling brush strokes against the potent silver moon
She pulls her scarf tighter, watching the heat mist from her lips
A porcelain blanket upon the earth as each cascading flake grazes her skin

The crisp air bites at her cheekbones, chattering against her eardrums
She tugs her wool hat down over her ears, feeling the heat beneath it
The hibernating world quiet and still, but for her steady breath, the bare, rustling branches
The grinding crunch beneath her boots ... her beating heart

A pulsing fire, within a glacial mass
A candle flame, amidst the chill

~ C ~


  1. What an amazing and beautiful poem. I can truly see what you do feel so much, as you say. May 2013 be your best year ever Cassandra :)

    1. Thank you. And I hope the same for your 2013 as well Keith :-)