Friday, July 1, 2011

Soul mates

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake ... tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions and break your heart open so new light can get in." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert.

For as long as I remember, I've believed in soul mates, but it's only in the last several years that I've come to believe there are different kinds of soul mates. The word itself is oftentimes cast in this overly romantic light that suggests two halves of a whole, but if you tear yourself away from the stereotypes and focus on the people closest to you, some of your longest friends or those who have come and gone, but left you better off than when they arrived, you may view that term in a new light. If you've ever met someone you have almost instantly felt a connection to, as though in some way, you'd known them your whole life ... a familiarity that emanates a sense of deja vu, a gentle feeling of "home" that you can't quite place your finger on, then you may understand what I'm referring to.

I spoke of fear in my last post, but I think an element of it applies here. Allowing that person or those people to unravel you, to see through all your guises and barriers, getting under your skin, peeling you down to your core, that can be one of the scariest, unnerving ventures you make. Transformation is a formidable, extensive and sometimes boundless undertaking. Like a caterpillar to butterfly, there is a period of stillness, hibernation, protection before you unsheathe and breathe new life. I haven't shed my coating yet, but I've definitely felt the dawning of vicissitude. My lungs are subtly expanding as they taste a sweeter air, laced with hope and healing.

It's easy to not let those people and their wisdom penetrate, to stay stagnant or in a place of complacent comfort, but in my experience so far, if I hadn't eventually released myself to that guidance, I would not have grown or tapped into my own well of wisdom. I would have continued to wilt; my petals a wasted breath of perfume, of life and love, disintegrating and unnoticed, into the soil beneath me. So ... all I can say is, when the day comes that you encounter someone who ignites luster in your dulled eyes and polishes your thoughts and dreams, caked with dust from being tucked away for so long ... let them in. Don't squander it or try to understand it or analyze it. Don't try to possess it or glamorize it. Let it take form, let it move you.

Let it transform you.

~ C ~

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